Dracula's Lawn Mower by Mark Parry.

Dracula loves to do his shopping in B+Q.  It is always open 24/7.  He recently bought a lawn mower fitted with a silencer.  Now Dracula can spend a lot of time in the garden.  He sometimes does his lawns at midnight.  The neighbours seem to think this is very perculiar behaviour.  So some of the locals have contacted the village Psychiatrist, to talk with Dracula.  But even the local Psychiatrist has fallen under the Dark Count's spell.  Do you want to know how Dracula bought his Nighttime mower?  He paid for the mower with his Blood Points Card.  Now Dracula can say, Ah...Listen to the lawn mowers of the night, What silence they make.  I used to have lawn mowers that made a racket.  Now my lawn mowers are the silent fiends of the night.